Self Defense Class

Just what I needed: more awkwardness in my life. Some time ago I signed up to the list-serv of a Jiu-Jitsu studio which sometimes has self-defense classes. Living by myself in Philadelphia, I thought attending such a class would be a good idea. Earlier this week I received an email offering a free "basic street self defense" class on Saturday. I forwarded the email to everyone I thought might be interested, but no one was able to make it because of the holiday. I decided to go by myself anyway. Because it was a self defense class, I was expecting to meet with a room full of women. I was wrong. In fact, I was the ONLY woman there. Everything was going well enough until the instructor decided to teach us how to get up from being pinned on the ground. He asked for a volunteer. I pretended not to hear. One of the guys offered. Phew. He asked the volunteer to lay on the mat, then proceeded to straddle him and pretend to punch him in the face. Then, he asked the volunteer to try to break free. It was really pathetic. The guy squirmed and squirmed but never got anywhere. Point proven, right? It's really hard to break loose from a grown man sitting on you and beating you senselessly. If only that were the end of the story.

One by one he went down the line repeating this exercise. I was the last one when he said to me, "Don't think you're getting out of this because you're a girl. Get over here." He then slapped the mat. I reluctantly surrendered. No, I could not break free. After this, he showed us a move that would get a person out of this situation. It involves a pelvic thrust. He then asked us to practice the technique with a partner for about 10 minutes. Luckily (?) my partner spoke little English. Awkward indeed.


P.S. Ryan- Beware. I learned some other moves to try out on you.

South Carolina

This Veterans' Day weekend, I had the pleasure of joining Laura, Kate, and Kate's BF Dave for a roadtrip to Laura's hometown, Colombia, SC. Kate's Florida Gators played (and beat) Laura's Carolina Gamecocks. (Go Cocks!) We went tailgating then watched the game at a bar. The tailgating was a lot of fun as was hanging out with Laura's entertaining family. (Example: Laura's little bro's nickname is Rectum.) Now I can't stop talking with a fake Southern accent that sounds something like Mr. Garrison.

Two Things

1. If I were asked to name a band today, I would go with "Ears For Years". It occurred to me this morning and I just really like it.

2. Knee-highs are inherently unsexy. I was accused of wearing slutty stockings at work today. I argue that that isn't possible because: a) They are oatmeal colored and b) NOT stockings, knee highs. Fishnet or no. Also, the rest of my outfit was frumpy. It is one of my favorites.