Where do I belong?

My endless debate of city vs country. This is gonna be a long post.

Ok, so I was born in a small town (cue John Mellencamp song) and "raised" in the country just outside of it. We had some land with a field and a pasture plus a huge red barn and some out-buildings. At some point in my life, we've had just about every imaginable, legal pet. These include: horses, a pony, cattle (one of which I named Cutiepie), dogs (one of which I named Sweetiepie), cats, frogs, salamanders, goats, hamsters, guinea pigs, gerbils, snakes, chickens, geese, ducks, fish, and oh yeah miniature horses. Ryan never has gotten that monkey he always wanted. Maybe someday...

I suppose I liked it well enough at the time, but I always thought that after high school I would get the heck out of there and live in a city or at least a much, much larger town. Maybe Boston, maybe New York or somewhere in Florida, definitely east coast I thought. Now I'm not so sure where I want to call "home" for the long term. I need to stay in the U.S. because of the whole professional licensure thing. I've had the opportunity to do quite a bit of traveling, and it has made me appreciate simple, country things more. It's quite cliche. That said, there are things I love about city life.

First, the advantages of living in the country.
1. Taking naps outside
I love to take a nap on a warm afternoon either in a hammock or on a blanket under a tree. My favorite spot used to be underneath the apricot tree. It smelled nice and was more hidden.
2. Privacy and quiet
Of course there's always the possibility, as was the case for us, that your nearest neighbor will be an elderly binocular-wielding couple that closely watches your every move. Also, not having neighbors living very close allows you to blare classic rock while you work outside if you so desire (Dad).
3. Stars
They just look better from the country. I used to be really into stars and astronomy at about age 11.
4. The outdoors and nature
We had countless adventures from swimming in farm ponds to hide-and-seek in corn and soybean fields, making up our own icy games in the frozen creek, and jumping terraces in the pasture. There were also walks around the section and picking up pretty rocks.
5. Safety or the illusion of safety
Most people don't lock their doors and think nothing of it. NOT a good idea in my current neighborhood. See Rude Awakening.
6. Pets
I think I pretty much covered this already. What can I say, I love animals.
7. Everybody knows everybody
Friendly hellos abound.

Disadvantages of living in the country.
1. Everybody knows everybody's business
2. Distance to ANYWHERE
We lived about 10 miles outside of town. I remember pleading with my parents to drive me to the pool or a friend's house or wherever. It was inconvenient to go almost anywhere.
3. Lack of goods to buy
This sounds really shallow, I know. But it kind of sucks to have to drive at least an hour to shop for jeans or shoes. And once I tried to buy tahini. No such luck.
4. Bugs and spiders
Ewww.
5. Produce
I love fresh fruits and vegetables in the summer. It would be great to either have my own garden or at least a readily available farmers' market.
6. Gravel roads
Everything is always dirty. This is a minor point.

Advantages of the city.
1. Paved roads
2. Shopping
The consumer in me loves the options and the convenience. It is nice to go to a grocery store and actually find everything on your list.
3. Culture
There's always something going on. In the city you get CONCERTS, art, museums, Wrestlemania, etc.
4. Bigger = better?
It is nice to see a movie at the theater on a screen that doesn't have holes in it.
5. Business competition
It seems like certain businesses in small towns can get away with more than they should be able to, because there is little or no competition. This is kind of vague, but I can't think of a good example.

Disadvantages of the city.
1. Traffic
I'm not a very good driver and right now I get kind of scared driving in heavy traffic. Maybe it's something I could get used to. Also, I tend to get road-rageous.
2. Traffic
Did I mention that I really hate driving in congested traffic? I'd really like to be able to ride a scooter until I'm 82.
3. Lack of privacy
No sleeping outside.
4. Crime
I learned today that 25 cars are stolen on average every year from the parking lot of the hospital I work at despite 24-hour security. But then there was that time Annie's car was stolen from outside our high school. It was then wrecked and burned. Bad stuff happens everywhere. It's just that more bad stuff happens where there is a higher concentration of people.

Conclusion:
All told, what really matters is the people. I think I could be happy living anywhere, under the right circumstances. Maybe a loft downtown, maybe a small house in a sleepy town. But, I LOVE LAWRENCE. I think it has a nearly ideal blend of country/small town and city characteristics. It has been said before, but Lawrence rocks. In hindsight, I think that my east coast (and Europe) fantasies where mostly about independence and challenge. I wanted to move really far away and do my own thing. But I kind of did that already. I didn't really know anyone when I moved to Lawrence, and I've met some of the best friends I've ever had. Plus, I'm still within driving distance from most of the best friends I already had. And heaven knows my parents won't be moving anytime soon. I like living near them.
I'm going to try to live in the moment. In this moment I quite happily live in a tiny apartment in Lawrence. I'm going to not worry about the future, knowing that I will be happy here or wherever life takes me.